confusion

Things have been a bit roughly shod lately, and while basic cognitive operations resumed regular service as of around this time last week, there’s still a lot of wanderers upstairs bumping into walls and looking uncertain. Don’t get me wrong, I’m outwardly pretty functional. I’m doing my typical kicking of asses and taking of names at work, which is nice, but I just feel… aloof. It’s kind of cool to be technically competent in your field, there’s definitely a sense of satisfaction to it. And while I know that I don’t know everything about my work, I know enough conceptually and have enough well-worn mental schema to be able to deal with most anything that I come across day to day. The satisfaction comes and goes however. Some days I think that being able to do what I do is fantastic, other days I find it meaningless and intellectually unfulfilling. I could probably say the same for most vocations I’ve undertaken though.

I apologise for the state of my writing at the moment, I’m long out of practice. Articulating complex thoughts has been troublesome all-round this week actually, I’ve found my mouth frequently exceeding my brain’s capability to keep up during conversations, none of which has put me into any precarious situations, but I’ve regularly had to use humour to sketch over the fact that my tongue seems to be stumbling awkwardly over my lips.

All told, my current list of complaints are mostly self-directed. Right now I don’t feel as mentally sharp as I usually like to think I am. This might be related to my trying to force a few overly large thoughts through an otherwise occupied mind and the subsequent slowing and blockages that entails, but with any luck I’ll be able to detach my brain from the running gear over Easter and let it spin freely for a while. Hopefully that’ll help.

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