So I had this idea last week. It was, for lack of a better descriptor, crazy. To give you the summary version, I was concocting a plan that involved me trying to get all of my uni assignments done before September, then taking off in an Eastward direction for a couple of months with no real agenda except for a couple of bits and pieces here and there.
I was working out how to time things, packing my life into my parents attic, accommodation, transport, all manner of things and wondering how I was ever going to manage to get it all sorted. So I pondered it over the weekend. Essentially I came to the conclusion that while it was a fine idea and would be scads of fun, It would mean a hugely stressful 6 week lead-up, and most likely the accumulation of a substantial debt along the way and on the basis of these thoughts, I decided to give up on the idea and ride out the uni semester as normal, working a bit in the meantime.
Monday morning came and I made my way to work in the lousy weather, and after a couple of soul-sucking meetings where I could feel my work ethic and productivity being drained from my limp body, I got back to my desk and sat down. It was there that I noticed something was missing. I'd gone from having this tremendous drive to get things done, plot things out and flesh out plans… to having nothing. Now honestly, I don't care that much about my work. It's menial and I don't think one could really take a whole deal of pride in word processing and photocopying. So essentially this situation has just brought into focus the fact that I spend an awful lot of time accomplishing nothing on a personal level, which is bad.
I guess it's really a bit obvious to say, but if you're not doing something, you're doing nothing.
It's enough to make me want to change my mind again.