your lucky day

Well so far I’ve survived my first two days of “observational” prac, although how “observational” my prac so far has been is somewhat debatable. On the first day the mentor teacher had me marking chemistry tests and teaching year ten biology within the first hour. Of course my knowledge of biology consists of remnants from lower school circa 1997 and my experiences in battling cockroaches between then and now, but hey, since when has lack of knowledge been a barrier to teaching? By fifth period I was doing a physics demo for a year twelve class, and contrary to what I was expecting, neither myself nor any of the students were blinded or electrocuted in the process. Suffice to say that my mentor teacher is fond of the “thrown in the deep end” school of thought, but so far it seems to be working out okay and I’m enjoying it. Apparently it’s just the way he does business, as I got a lot of sympathy at the coffee urn from some of the younger science teachers in the department who had the same fellow as a mentor teacher during their pracs. Yesterday I even taught a year eight class and had them do an experiment using bunsen burners and no one was lit on fire. Of course I have the advantage of being one step ahead of small children with inflammatory devices, having misused them for pretty much every possible purpose myself in the not too far gone past. Memories of oneself on fire do not pass quickly.

The play went really well, at least any parts of it that involved my presence, and if the leading lady wants to break into a monologue on the bizarre mating rituals of the twelfth century Incan people while I’m backstage trying to catch skittles in my mouth and ignore the rabid bitching about co-stars going on behind me, then that’s just fine with me. Not that she did, though it would’ve made for an interesting interlude in the production. On the plus side, now that it’s over I can have more of my weekends back from rehearsals in order to fill them with the construction of repulsive uni assignments. But it’s not all bad.

I’d just like to take this opportunity to say that Glen, those unopened pies you left in our freezer, well I ate one of them. And when I say one, I mean a few. And when I say a few, I mean all of them. I hope you can take some satisfaction from knowing that they were indeed very tasty and nutritionally satisfying and I enjoyed the consumption of each and every one of them. I believe that despite this setback, that both our peoples can continue to live in peace and we can still co-exist in harmony, building a stronger nation by bonding through our adversity, and the devouring of each others’ chicken and vegetable sustenance.

I’m useless
but not for long

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