know just who we are

Ok, so I’ve realised in the past few days… alright, now that’s a lie and I’m only seven words into the post, I’ve known this for a long time, I’ve just been avoiding doing anything about it, but back to the point at hand… that I really should start learning or doing something that’s going to mean I get more enjoyment and satisfaction out of life (at least during business hours) than solving and creating problems on PC’s day in, day out. I thought about this last year before I left my last job. It’s one of the main reason I left my last job, I wasn’t really enjoying it, and I spent a lot of time doing it, and why should I spend my waking life doing something I don’t enjoy? So obviously the first thought was to go finish my degree… oh wait, that’s right, I was never particularly passionate about this degree in the first place and a lot of the reasons I did it in the first place were because I could get in, and I knew I could do it (when I actually put effort in). Still, I was already down a whole stack of imaginary money, so I figured I’d be better off in the long term to finish off the degree before going off and starting something else. After all, it’ll help me get well in the meantime, it’d be nice to have finished something I started again for the first time in a while, plus 2/3 of a degree is about as useful to me as a uterus. That being ‘not very’.

I’ve never been a gambling man. Not with any intention of actually winning anything anyhow, I’m just like the rest of the suckers who win a couple of dollars from the twenty cent machines and then proceed to stick them back into the machines until they’re all gone. I’m not even into shares and the stockmarket, to me that’s just like gambling, except really slow and they take out some of your money every time you try to bet. The relevance of this being that the odds of me personally kicking Valentino Rossi or Chris Cornell out of their respective lives, so to speak, are quite low, and it would be quite easy for me to spend many many years of my life and scads of money trying to get there, but the bottom line is that the odds of me pulling it off are infintessimally small, along with the fact that I know I’d be just as happy doing a dozen other things, and it doesn’t mean I can’t dabble in what they do as a daggy amateur in my spare time. It hasn’t stopped me so far.

My point being that now I’m sitting back in my proverbial rocking chair with my proverbial pipe and slippers in an entirely nonexistent proverbial loungeroom considering my options. I mean there’s a few ways I could start paddling this boat (preferably one of the downstream options), what I’ve gotta do now is just toss up what I really want to do, how easily I can wing it, and what I’ve gotta do to get there. Make no mistake, I’ve plenty of ideas, and I plan on accomplishing as many as possible before my limbs fall off or I get chucked out of this world (pending the schedule of leprosy and death respectively), I’ve just gotta make sure I keep these balls moving (you have a sick mind, you hear me? sick. Shame on you) and don’t end up in a zombilical* fashion of nine-to-fiving again.

So for the meantime, it’s rolling rolling rolling…

(*) another addition to the Dwightionary

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