I’ve been a little out of it today, it’s just been one of those out of kilter days. I’m starting to get this real sensation of impending doom. I don’t know what it is, but something’s sitting in the back of my mind gnawing at me. I don’t think it’s Uni, I mean Uni can be hard and a pain in the ass at times, but it’s nothing I can’t handle, and even if it turns out I can’t handle it, it’s no great loss. Maybe I’m just getting that thing again. You know, the feeling that you’re aging too fast and by the time you’ve done half the things you wanted to do, you’ll be too old to do the rest of it? I wonder what you call a fear of aging, no doubt there’s a term for it. Then again I guess it’s not so much aging, more running out of time.
But I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m just spending too much time focusing on the destination and not just paying attention to the journey (Warning, warning, entering cliché territory). It’s not like I spend a lot of time thinking about it, but maybe even what I do spend is too much. Take care of the minutes and the hours will take care of themselves, that kind of jazz. Maybe I do too much, check that, maybe I want to do too much. But I could hardly see that as a bad thing. I think when I get right down to it, the one thing I’ve gotta do is question my own motives. The last thing I want to be doing is spending my life trying to impress other people or wasting my time doing somebody elses dirty work.
Beaten paths are for beaten men.
After all, where would the fun be in things if I knew what I was doing?